Blasters and Wands
by ProbablyNoOneYouKnow
Summary: Being rewritten, mostly because it sucks. And by rewritten, I mean completely overhauled. Come back, well, who knows when. If someone wants it, feel free to use it, just let me know.
1. Chapter 1

Blasters and Wands, Chapter One.

Harry was walking to the quiddich pitch, broom in hand, intending to fly his thoughts of the third task away, when he was intercepted by five professional looking men.

"Mr. Potter, You are under arrest for the murder of Cedric Diggory. Do not resist. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will…"

Harry was not paying attention. He was however paying attention to the TIE Advanced x1 series with two passenger pods slowly dropping lower, Its incessant whine mixing with the roar of a Skipray blastboat hovering above the school. One of his captors noticed his stunned expression.

"Cat got your tongue potter?"

Harry wordlessly pointed. All his captors laughed.

"We don't fall for those tricks Potter!"

And then the imposing figure of Darth Vader approached them from behind.

"Gentlemen, Mr. Potter has attracted the attention of the Emperor. He will be coming with me."

The men crumbled under the sheer power of the force mind trick, and Harry was still in shock as Darth Vader steered him toward the TIE fighter and his future as a psudo-Sith apprentice.

Back on Corucant, Harry was stubbornly resisting the emperor's attempts to turn him to the dark side. But that was after the initial 'look at the kindly old grandfather-type person who is teaching you all about why you are here and where you are.'

"Look. I understand the power of the Dark Arts, but you cannot dedicate your life to them. Even in battle, you cannot use hot anger. You can use cold anger, but they type of anger you are talking about is Hot Anger, and it uses you. You need to mix both the light and the dark to effectively fight."

The emperor scowled. Although, that was how he normally looked. (The old wrinkly face was a force trick he used to make himself look more imposing.)

"Fine. How about this. I'll try to use some of the light force arts, if you use some of the dark. And you MUST have the standard issue Sith Red Lightsaber."

"Fine. Now let's get started!"

After that, Harry was taught for the whole summer on how to use the force, both light and dark. Sadly, while Harry and the Emperor were having so much fun, Darth Vader was working on eradicating all traces of Harry potter doing something wrong in the eyes of the law and Fudge.

Diagon Alley, August 29th.

When Harry came back to earth to get his school supplies he dropped into Diagon Alley in a Z-206 Headhunter air-speeder. He disembarked with the emperor, leaving the headhunter parked in the middle of the alley, and began listening to Darth Sidious' final instructions before he went to school.

"Bring me back more news of this… Magic, my young apprentice." More than 5/6 of the muggleborn students in the alley cringed at the gravelly tones of the emperor. "And do not forget to show this… Voldemort who the real Dark Lord is in the galaxy! Oh, and your guard and the stormtroopers will be coming along in about a week. Their ISD broke down halfway between Tatooine and here, and it will take about that long to repair it."

At the thought of the Emperor's Red Guard and a legion of stormtroopers living on earth, more than half the muggleborns fainted. The other half had to lean up against walls.

Harry smirked, but sadly, the effect was lost as he was still wearing his cowl. "It will be as you say Master." And he stalked off to Gringotts, glaring at people under his hood.

Darth Sidious smirked as he climbed back into the speeder. Sith Lord Potter was going to take the Wizarding World by storm.

Harry walked into the bank, people fainting in his wake, and showed his key to a goblin. "Hello Griphook. Care to show me to my vault?"

Griphook was surprised, and then chuckled. "A Sith Lord? Dumbledore's Golden Boy? Been absolutely ages since we had a Sith in here. The last one was Exar Kun, if I remember rightly."

Harry gripped Griphook's shoulders. "Did he have a vault? If he did, I have the right to see it as a Sith Lord!"

"Of course Mr. Potter, we will go see your vault and then take that cart down to his vault. Righto, off we go!"

Exar Kun's vault was surprisingly empty. All he kept in there were several Sith Holocrons and about ten vibro-axes and thirty-something vibro-knives. The center piece of the vault was a pedestal with a Lightsaber on it. Harry scooped up the Holocrons and grabbed two of the vibro-knives, and picked up the Lightsaber from the pedestal and left to finish his shopping in Diagon alley.

Three days later, Hermione and the Weaslys appeared in the alley, talking of shopping and the Sith lord who lived in the alley.

Hermione was skeptical. "I don't believe that the Sith really exist. This will be an imposter, just you wait."

Harry chuckled, and appeared in front of her. "Hi Hermione! How are you?" He looked at his chronometer. "Oh damn. I told the Dursleys I'd be there at noon. Well, ta!" he dashed off to the Leaky Cauldron, apparating once inside, leaving a gobsmacked group of people behind.

Harry appeared in front of Mrs. Figg's house, and immediately knew something was amiss. Perhaps something in the air, or maybe it was the torn apart house fronts, or the small boy named Mark Evans being tortured by a Crucio spell on the Dursley's front lawn.

The death eater torturing Mark was laughing, or at least he was until Harry ignited his ligtsaber with a snap-hiss jumped, and chopped the Death Eater's head off with his lightsaber. "You will leave him alone." Were his exact words, a mite too late, as he had already separated the Death Eater's head from his shoulders. The rest turned to stare at him, and then launched avada kedavras at him, which were promptly intercepted by the lightsaber blade. When faced with an unknown, the death eaters promptly disapparated. All except for one, who was apparently a new recruit, and was unable to apparate. Foolishly turning to insult this defender of muggles, he yelled "My master will crush you like the ant you are!"

Harry turned to him, and spoke with contempt, "Your master, does not know who the real dark lord in the galaxy is." And then he fried him with force lightning. "I cannot wait until the _Vengeance_ gets here."

After cleaning up the mess outside and repairing the house fronts, he began to place memory charms on the muggles, who were still in shock. Looking sadly at his relatives destroyed house, and their mangled corpses, he made the muggles think it was a gas explosion and apparated away.

The day the _Vengeance _got to earth, Harry was lying in his bed in the Leaky Cauldron, waiting for the _Lambda _class shuttle that would carry the first of his personal guard when, speak of the devil, the shuttle dropped into Diagon Alley, its cloaking device shimmering off, the screams of the people in the Alley mixing with the whine of the ramp lowering. Two of the Red Guard in their eerie red robes and five stormtroopers disembarked.

One of the Red Guard strode forward to him and spoke, "Sir, Permission to speak freely?"

"Granted Trooper."

"I don't see why we aren't just going to this school directly in TIEs, as opposed to taking this… train thing."

"Call it sentimental reasons trooper. I have friends who will be riding the train, and an enemy I want to make an impression on."

"Ah. I see sir."

Harry grabbed hold of them all and apparated them to platform nine and three quarters.

When a black robed figure, two red robed figures wielding pikes and five white armored stormtroopers appeared on the platform, the first reaction of the people was shock. By the time the people on the platform figured out that there was a potential enemy in their midst, Harry and his guard had already boarded the train.

On the train, the five stormtroopers splat up and placed themselves on strategic areas of the train, and his red guard were placed on the inside of the compartment he was in, in such a way that no one would see them unless they stepped into the compartment. Even with them hidden that way, Harry put a Force you will not notice me trick on them. With these defenses, Harry was soon joined by Ron and Hermione.

Ron spoke first. "Harry, mate, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!"

Hermione just looked relived.

Harry smirked. "Sorry Ron, that information is classified, as it may compromise our agents in the field."

Ron just gaped.

Soon, after several more refusals to tell them where he had been, Hermione jumped up and yelled. "Ron! We're late for a prefect meeting!" and dragged Ron out of the compartment.

Harry thought to himself, _huh. I had forgotten that prefects were chosen this year. Heh, not like they could get an owl to me on Corucant. Besides, I really don't want to be a prefect. I'd have to call offal of those ingenious pranks I have planned. _

When Ron and Hermione came back, Harry began smirking. _Any minute now… _he thought, and then, speak, well, think of the devil.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't potty, the mudblood, and the weasel. I'm surprised you survived the summer! The ministry might not say anything, but I expected the dark lord to crush your heads open like eggs."

Harry stared coldly at Malfoy. "Well, I had thought that ol' Moldywart had killed you for incompetence."

Malfoy started forward, apparently intending to punch Harry, when Harry pointed his hand toward him, and took a leaf out of Darth Vader's book. That is to say, a non-lethal Force choke maneuver. Malfoy was lifted off the ground, kicking and clawing at his throat as though to loosen his collar. "Really, I expected you to go for your wand Malfoy. You would do well to steer clear of me from now on. NOW GET OUT!" And with that and a wave of his hand, Harry blew Malfoy out of the compartment and into the wall.

Hermione recovered first. "But wandless magic is supposed to be impossible!"

Harry smirked (He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately) and pulled his wand out of his sleeve and showed it to her. "Old trick. I coupled a Constricting charm and a levitation charm, and then a Banishing charm to blow him out of the compartment."

In reality though, he had done no such thing. The Force was a powerful ally.

Walking to the carrages, Harry noticed the presence of something new, namely, vaguely reptilian, skeletal winged horses strapped to the carrages. Harry examined them through the force and found that one could not see them unless one had seen death. Harry ignored them, assuming that they had been there all along, and he had only become able to see them after his summer of negotiations with the rebels.

The Rebel leaders, seeing the change in the Empire (Namely, the reforming of the senate, the dismantling of the Death Star and the tax collection agency's main guillotine, several key rights restored) had agreed to negotiations. The leaders had agreed that the rebels had gotten what they wanted, and the emperor had gotten a ray of love into his rather black heart (he got a girlfriend, admittedly by using the force to make himself younger, but still, a girlfriend!) and most people were happy.

Note the 'most' there. Several admirals had left, taking their star destroyers with them. In fact, one of the emperor's apprentices had left, beginning a campaign of terror. Harry had hunted him down and killed him. Sadly, The apprentice was far more skilled with a lightsaber than he was, and Harry had barely managed to kill him only loosing the limbs he did. Harry had lost an arm and both legs. After recovering in the hospital, the emperor had had some of the best surgeons attach prosthetics. But, they were still droid arms, with the sense of touch, but droid arms nonetheless. Harry now wore gloves to hide the metallic color of his limbs. Harry was not complaining though. Superhuman strength, the ability to switch off pain from those limbs, and the ability to freak people out simply by removing gloves were all boons to a Sith. He had also had the support of Anakin Skywalker, Or Darth Vader in public, who had gone through something similar on the lava planet of Mustafar, only he had been fighting his former master.

After climbing into a carriage, Harry, Ron and Hermione began talking of how the ministry would react to Harry returning. For now, only speaking with friends mattered.

AN: I… Have made a complete fool of myself. But, what do I care! It's not like I have much dignity anyway, and when your muse won't leave you alone you have to do something! Next chapter, Harry makes the Slytherins sing 'We're the Knights of the Round Table' from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Please, tell me how pathetic this is in a review so I have someone to laugh at.


	2. Chapter 2

Blasters and Wands, Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I own several things. Star Wars and Harry Potter are not among them.

When the Carriages arrived at the castle, Harry, Ron and Hermione stepped into the entrance hall, and Harry was immediately grabbed into a hug from Remus Lupin. Harry awkwardly patted Remus' back, and Remus looked at him strangely. "Harry, what's that noise?"

Harry mentally cursed his carelessness and werewolf enhanced hearing. Clearly, as he had forgotten to apply a silencing charm on his limbs Remus had caught the whirring of the servomotors in his arm. On the outside, he just looked confused and asked, "What noise professor?"

Remus looked at Harry in an odd way, one that, at least to Harry said, 'I don't think you're telling the truth' and said "Nothing Harry, I just thought that I heard something."

Harry shrugged, and asked Remus is he was their DADA professor again this year.

"No Harry, I just found out that you were on the train and wanted to see you, so I came!"

The feast was just like old ones, although Harry was afraid that his limbs would be exposed before he wanted them to be, and consequently did not remember anything until Dumbledore said, "There is a time for speeches, but this is not it. TUCK IN!"

And with that, the feast began, Ron stuffing his face, Harry barely managing to keep his manners in mind. He had been longing to eat some good solid earth food for the entire summer, not that Corucant food was bad, but Harry had had some strange cuisine while tracking down the rogue apprentice. By the time Harry had left Tattoine, if he had had one more piece of bantha jerky he would have screamed.

After dinner, the toad like woman who Harry assumed was the DADA teacher stood up during Dumbledore's annual speech. Her voice had a breathless quality to it, like a little girl's voice, only much, much more annoying. After that, she started a speech that sounded vaguely like the ministry of magic was interfering at Hogwarts. Harry wasn't too sure though, as her voice, like Binn's voice, had the tendency to put one to sleep.

Hermione was thoughtful enough to confirm this, as she had a natural immunity to the chloroform effects of Binn's voice.

Classes went on as they always did, only with constant reminders to study because of OWLs, Harry excelled in his classes, mostly because he had had nothing to do except read during the long hyperspace trips between planets. It was during those trips that he really thanked Vader's presence of mind to get his stuff from the castle.

The first DADA class, on the other hand, was a complete and utter disaster.

They had walked into the classroom….

Flashback 

It was Umbrige who spoke first. "Good Morning children"

A few people muttered half-hearted replies, the rest just looked affronted at being talked to as if they were four years old.

"Tut tut. That won't do at all. When I talk to you, I want you to respond. Now let's try that again! Good Morning class!"

The class chanted "Good Morning professor Umbrige" Back at her.

"Now, that was much better don't you think! Now, Wands away and books out please! But before we start, the class goals are on the board, and my one main rule is that you must raise your hand before speaking, and I must call on you before you speak. Now, open your books to chapter one and read chapter one."

Both Harry and Hermione took one look at the course aims and raised their hands. Umbrige saw their hands and seemed to be trying to see how long she could ignore them. Finally, she gave up and pointed at Hermione.

"Yes miss…"

"Granger, professor. I had a question about the course aims."

"The course aims are perfectly clear miss Granger, I don't see what the problem is."

"There's nothing on the board about practicing defensive spells professor."

"Surely you don't think you will be attacked in my class Ms. Granger!"

"No, but what about the dangers that lurk outside of school?"

"Who, do you think would attack children like yourselves?"

"Death Eaters, Dark Wizards in general, Voldemort perhaps?"

"Voldemort is NOT back, Ms. Granger, and anyone who says otherwise is a liar. Yes Mr. Potter?"

Harry smirked, again, "So. Let me see if I have this right professor. According to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord?"

"Ten points from Gryffindor Potter, Diggory's death was a tragic accident."

Harry looked politely incredulous. "That somehow involved a Killing Curse coming out of nowhere and hitting Cedric, after the Triwizard cup was somehow, for no apparent reason, turned into a portkey to the graveyard where Voldemort's Father lay buried? Somehow, I think not."

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for lying Mr. Potter, don't make me make it an even fifty."

Harry idly toyed with the idea of killing the hag with his lightsaber, but decided against it, and wisely shut up. Sadly, the rest of the class was not as wise, and Gryffindor lost two hundred points by the end of the class.

End Flashback 

The next morning, Harry went to breakfast very early and began layering charms down on the Slytherin table. When everyone was down at breakfast, he shot out a small, unnoticeable, spell at the table, setting off all of the charms that he had layered. Suddenly, all of the Slytherins suddenly jumped up, and as one, sang:

We're knights of the round table

We dance whene'er we're able

We do routines and chorus scenes

With footwork impeccable.

We dine well here in Camelot

We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.

We're knights of the Round Table

Our shows are formidable

But many times

We're given rhymes

That are quite unsingable

We're opera mad in Camelot

We sing from the diaphragm a lot.

In war we're tough and able.

Quite indefatigable

Between our quests

We sequin vests

And impersonate Clark Gable

It's a busy life in Camelot.

And then Malfoy stepped to the front, and sang, in a very opera style baritone,

"I Have to push the pram a LOOOOOOT!"

And with that, the charms wore off, and to say that the Slytherin table was embarrassed would have been the understatement of the decade.

Dumbledore's eye twinkle was in overdrive, and he looked about to say something when Um-bitch stood up.

"Let me assure everyone that if we find out who did this, they will be expelled!"

Dumbledore looked surprised. "Professor Umbrige, that is a little harsh of a punishment for such a harmless prank. I think that three or so detentions will do the trick."

Umbrige sat down grumbling. Not many people could hear anything of what she was saying, but Harry heard something about 'educational decrees' and 'minister approves' and 'won't be able to contradict me soon.'

Harry decided that he could safely assume that the ministry would soon begin their manipulations of Hogwarts. Or Umbrige was nuts. Or both. Probably both.

Snape was as big an asshole as ever. Starting off, he set them on one of the most complicated things he could have given them. The draught of peace. A more complicated, finicky potion Harry could not remember. Even the polyjuice potion was not quite as complex as this one, polyjuice did not require you stir one way, then the other, then the other, and so on. By the end of the lesson, Harry was praising force-meditation, as it had helped him keep all of the ingredients clear.

DADA went swimmingly. Hermione had finished the book that they were given by the end of the first week, setting off a landslide of Umbrige detentions on Harry, who seemed to be the object of all her frustration.

The day after the prank, Umbrige was appointed 'Hogwarts High Inquisitor' which put Harry in mind of the Spanish Inquisition. During the weeks that followed, educational decrees were passed, one for everything that Umbrige hated.

The first detention was hell. Harry walked into Umbrige's office and was told he would be doing lines. Harry was about to take out his quill and ink when Umbrige spoke.

"Oh no Mr. Potter, you'll be using a rather special quill of mine."

She proffered a blood red quill, and Harry took it in his left hand, thinking that if it did something to his arm, he could always get a new one.

"Now Mr. Potter, you will need no ink, and I want you to write: I must not tell lies."

"How many times?"

She smirked horribly, and said "Oh, however many times it takes for the message to… Sink In."

Harry took the quill, put it to the parchment, and began to write. Harry saw blood red ink form the words he was writing on the parchment, and took a moment to realize that the ink was actually his blood, and that the back of his left hand was being slit open each time he wrote, healing over each time he stopped writing.

Harry was very glad that he had used his left hand. If he had used his right, who knows what the ink might have been. Coolant? Be that as it may, Harry was pissed that he was being forced to torture himself. Calming himself, Harry began to write. Minutes bled into hours, and eventually Umbrige told him they had made some progress, and he could leave.

Harry walked out, glad for the impending distraction that Quiddich offered.

The next day, Harry walked out to the Quiddich pitch, Firebolt in hand, prepared to absolutely destroy the Slytherin team.

After Wood's usual pre-Quiddich pep talk, they stepped out onto the field, hearing boos and cheers from the Slytherins and everyone else, respectively.

Harry heard Lee Jordan yelling the commentation.

"And the Gryffindor team, no changes from last year, one of the best teams this school has seen in years. And here comes the Slytherin team, Beaters Derrick and Bole having been replaced by Crabbe and Goyle. Looks to me like Flint has been going for size on this team," there Lee was drowned out by boos from the Slytherin end of the stands.

Harry didn't see why they were booing though. From his perspective, everything Lee had said was true. Malfoy was easily the smallest person on the team, and Crabbe and Goyle were more miniature gorillas than humans.

Madam Hooch strode out to the middle of the Quiddich pitch carrying the case of balls.

"Captains, shake hands! Now I want a nice clean game from the both of you, and the punishments if the game is otherwise will be as harsh as it is within my power to make them."

Wood and Flint shook hands, each looking like they wanted to crush the other's hand.

Madam Hooch released the balls as the teams sped into the air, each seeker looking for a glint of gold. Apparently, Harry's demonstration on the train had only increased Malfoy's desire to see Harry's head on a platter, preferably a Slytherin crested one, as he sped by at a furious pace, yelling, "Hey Potter! You might want a mattress floating beneath you after the game, you're gonna need it." And with that not-so-subtle remark, he sped off.

Harry tuned Lee back in just in time to hear the score. "60-20 Gryffindor, Pucey with the Quaffle, stolen by Johnson, who flies down the field, THAT WAS FILTHY!"

Crabbe had just flown directly in front of Angelina and hit her with his beater's bat. Angelina fell, and the closest person to her was Harry. Well, outside of Crabbe of course, but Harry was not about to place any faith in Crabbe catching her.

Harry sped downward toward Angelina, suddenly noticing the glint of gold following her down. Harry pulled a repeat of his first match. Speeding down, Harry caught Angelina and captured the snitch in his mouth. Angelina had, thankfully, regained enough lucidity to grab hold of the broom for herself.

Holding the snitch aloft, Harry never noticed Crabbe smash his beater's bat into the back of his head until it hit him.

Harry was blown off his broom, fell twenty feet into the ground and was knocked unconscious. As such he never noticed Lee Jordan shrieking about 'slimy Slytherins' and 'fucking cheaters' which surprisingly enough, was not corrected by McGonagall, as she and Dumbledore were rushing to Harry's aid and leviating him to the hospital wing.

When McGonagall and Dumbledore got Harry to the Hospital Wing, the first thing they did was place Harry on the bed and yell for Madam Pomfrey. She came busling out to see what was wrong, and when she did, she sighed.

"Not a year goes by when I don't see that poor child in here. I should set up a room in here reserved for him. Goodness knows he would use it. What happened?"

McGonagall scowled. "Mr. Crabbe hit him in the back of the head with his beaters bat after Harry had saved Ms. Johnson from falling off her broom, AFTER Crabbe knocked her off her broom with his beaters bat. I will make sure Crabbe is banned from quiddich if it is the last thing I do."

Madam Pomfrey just looked resigned. "Well, there doesn't appear to be any outward damage, so I'll just give him a nerve repairing potion, incase Crabbe's vicious attack damaged his brain." She force fed him a potions and began magicing his clothes off to put on pajamas.

She shook her head when his quiddich robes were clean and folded in a pile. "I don't understand why he wears gloves and long boots all the time, the area is perfectly warm right now."

"He probably just picked it up over the summer Poppy, wherever he was over the summer. I-" Dumbledore was cut off here by simultaneous gasps from the transfiguration professor and the mediwitch. When Dumbledore looked down at Harry, he saw why.

"I stand corrected then. It was not something he picked up over the summer." For there, lying on the bed in nothing but his underwear, was Harry Potter, metal arm and legs fully visible.

Madam Pomfrey, ever the professional, began systematically figuring out how to take off Harry's arms and legs. When asked why, she merely said that "the poor boy should not have to sleep with those limbs on."

When she discovered how to take them off, she did so, tucking the sheet up to his chest and left, shortly followed by both professors, leaving Harry alone with the squirrel on the windowsill.

The Squirrel in question just so happened to be a reporter in legal animagus form, who had just come in time to see everyone leave. Looking around quickly, he re-emerged from his squirrel form, and began snapping pictures, noticing only his missing arm, and not the prosthetics on the side of the bed, or Harry's missing legs.

AN: Well, here is chapter two. Hope you like it. Constructive criticism is welcome, flames… well, if you're going to send me one, don't burn yourself.


	3. Chapter 3

Blasters and Wands, Chapter Three

Why you should not piss off a dark lord of the Sith.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Star Wars. Well, I do own a copy of Star Wars Battlefront one and two, but I don't think that counts.

When Harry woke up, he was surrounded by his teachers and friends. Dumbledore looked at him, or more specifically, where his arm used to be and sighed.

"Mr. Potter, was there a reason you chose not to tell us about your missing limbs? And for that matter, how did it happen?"

"I didn't want to be pitied. And for that matter, as you can see, I can function quite normally without them. As for your second question, I don't feel like discussing it right now. And now that we have gotten that unpleasant business out of the way, can I have my limbs back and go to whatever class I am currently missing?"

Dumbledore looked at him and handed him his limbs. With a snap and a click, he put each limb on, ignoring his friends' winces as he did so. He made to stand up, but Dumbledore stopped him.

"Mr. Potter, before you rejoin the school, oh, and it's a Saturday, so don't worry about missing classes, but anyway, look at this."

And he handed Harry a copy of the Daily Prophet. On the front page was a picture of himself, slumbering in the hospital bed, his arm quite clearly missing. Harry silently praised the fact that with the blankets, you couldn't see that his legs were missing. Harry looked at the article and groaned.

_Harry Potter: Cripple?_

_Yesterday evening, after a Quiddich game, Mr. Potter was ensconced in the hospital wing for injuries unknown. When this reporter tried to get information he was rebuffed by the staff. This did not stop yours truly from gaining information, for I am the bravest, most powerful reporter the world has seen since Rita Skeeter!_

Harry snorted. "Narcissistic much?"

He continued reading.

_Photographing Mr. Potter in the hospital wing was difficult, but yours truly was able to do it. What I discovered shocked me. Mr. Potter had clearly had his arm removed. Whether cut of by a hostility (unlikely) or a publicity stunt (likely) remains unclear. It is my personal belief that Mr. Potter is attempting to garner more attention that he already has. I just hope we won't be forced to worship his severed arm stump next._

Harry looked up. "Let me guess. They've been poking at me and calling me a lying, attention seeking brat since ol' voldie came back. And this is just an escalation of that."

Dumbledore shrugged. "Well, now that you say it, yes."

Harry started muttering. "There's the reason I don't read that paper… all hell has broken loose… master will kill me…"

With the last sentence, Dumbledore grew alarmed. _Surly he didn't join Tom? _

"Mr. Potter, would you be so kind as to give me your left arm?"

Harry shrugged. "Sure."

Harry held out his arm, and after Dumbledore had finished waving his wand over the forearm, repeatedly, jabbing it with the wand every so often, muttering words, all he did was uncover a small communicator strapped to the arm. Dumbledore removed the communicator, attempting to see if the Dark Mark was hidden beneath it. Of course, it wasn't, but the bumblebee didn't know that.

Once Dumbledore had satisfied his curiosity, he looked at the communicator.

"Mr. Potter," He asked, with genuine curiosity in his voice, "What is this?"

Harry levered himself up. "Oh, that's just a communicator. I can talk to my master with that, makes everything easier."

"Your master?"

"Sorry, Classified information. Access only to essential personnel." And with that, he picked up his equipment, dressed, and left the hospital wing.

Stalking off to the Great Hall, he was just in time to be intercepted by Malfoy.

"Hey, look, it's the one arm wonder!"

Harry sighed. He really did not have the time for this. Especially since the long sleeves of the robe he was wearing covered his arms, making it appear to not be there. "Malfoy, I really don't have time for this. Please move out of the way."

Malfoy laughed. "Oh yeah, what are you going to do? Hit me with your arm stump? Oh, wait, that's right, you don't even have a stump! Your whole arm's gone!"

Harry's patience was at an end. All he wanted was some goddamned breakfast. Was that too much to ask? Wordlessly, he picked Malfoy up by the throat with his right arm, moved him to the left about two feet, and set him down. Ignoring the shocked stares of everyone who saw his arm, he stalked off to eat some toast, muttering "all I wanted was some goddamned breakfast, without interruption. Toast, some Earl Grey tea, and maybe some bacon. But nooooooo. No uninterrupted meals for Harry. '

Later that day, Harry was cornered by professor Umbridge after she had finished inspecting Hagrid's class, something that Harry was still shaking with fury over.

_Flashback:_

Hagrid had just finished telling them about Thestrals, and how you could only see them if you had seen death. (which, now that Harry thought of it, explained why Harry could see them and Ron and Hermione could not) when Umbridge walked into the clearing, did her annoying little cough, and started questioning Hagrid, in a very loud voice, as though he were deaf.

"You received the note I sent to your cabin this morning telling you I would be inspecting your lesson?"

"Oh yeah," Hagris said brightly "Glad yeh found the place all righ'! Well, as you can see – or, dunno, can you? We're doin' thestrals today"

"I'm sorry?" said Umbridge loudly, cupping her had around her ear and frowning. "What did you say?"

Hagrid looked a little confused. "Er- thestrals!" He said loudly. "Big, er, winged horses, yeh know!"

He flapped his arms hopefully. Umbridge raised her eyebrow at him and made notes on her clipboard.

"_Has… to… resort… to… crude… sign… language…"_

Hagrid flushed, and decided to return to the lecture. "Erm, what was I sayin'?"

"_Appears... to... have... poor... short... term... memory..."_

Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson burst into laughter. Hagrid somehow flushed an even brighter red. Umbridge smiled, a sickening sweet smile that made Harry want to puke.

"Now, I will walk," she mimed walking with her fingers, "Among the students," she pointed to the students, "and ask them questions." She mimed talking.

By this time, Malfoy and Parkinson were outright laughing and Hermione was fuming.

"I know what you're doing, you foul, evil old hag!" Hermione was shaking with fury.

Harry was just as, if not more, angry as Hermione, but was able to keep from shaking.

"Now now Hermione, don't understate things. She's much worse than you say she is."

Hagrid opened his mouth to continue his lecture, but was interrupted by professor Umbridge, talking to Parkinson. "So, tell me, can you understand Professor Hagrid?"

Pansy, snorting with laughter, replied, "Well, No, because, well, it, sounds, like grunting, a lot, of the, time!"

Harry was not happy. "Professor Umbridge, Professor Hagrid is attempting to continue the lesson. He will not be able to continue to give you an accurate representation of how the lessons go normally if he is continually interrupted. If you want to talk to the class, I would suggest you do so after class."

Hagrid flashed him a thankful grin while Umbridge scowled. Against such a logical argument, she could do nothing but agree.

Hagrid continued with the class, explaining about the thestrals, "Now, once a thestral is tame, you'll never be lost again. 'Mazin' sense of direction…." And so on.

_End Flashback_

Now, when Umbridge caught up with him outside the forest, he was still silently fuming. Given her aggression toward half humans and werewolves, he could tell that no matter what he did, Hagrid would most likely be fired, the Weasley twins would wreak havoc in protest, and then storm out of the school. Things were just not going his way. Not a bit.

"Well, if it isn't my least favorite student. Show me your right arm."

Harry just glowered at her. "No."

"What do you mean, no? I am the High Inquisitor, and I will get what I want!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "I mean no. My private life is my own, and I will have privacy. And my respective limbs most certainly fall into the 'private' category."

Umbridge was so mad Harry thought he might be able to see her extremities wither and die from lack of blood, as it was all directed at her head. "Detention Mr. Potter. You will show me your right arm and allow me to examine it."

"No, no I won't. Get used to disappointment from me, high inquisitor, you'll be getting it a lot." and with that parting shot, he stormed off to history of magic, leaving an irate Umbridge in his wake.

Sadly, Harry's prediction of Hagrid getting fired came true, although he was luckily able to continue to live on the grounds. A day later, he came down from transfiguration to get lunch, and he saw the twins surrounded by a circle of people in the entrance hall, Umbridge standing on the stairs leading down to the hall.

A high, annoying voice sounded, and it was a minute before Harry realized that it was Umbridge's voice.

"So, you thought it was amusing to turn a school corridor into a swamp, eh?"

Fred (or perhaps George) answered her in such a light, uncaring tone that even a grey Jedi had to stare.

"Pretty funny, yeah."

Umbridge looked furious and smug at the same time, something Harry had been previously unaware was possible.

"Oh, you won't be laughing for long, as you are about to find out what happens to troublemakers at my school."

It was then that Dumbledore chose to show up, descending the staircase with a vague expression of surprise on his face.

"Your school, Ms. Umbridge?"

"Yes, My School. You see, it would seem, that our esteemed minister has decided your management of the school is lacking, and has replaced you with me. Meet the new headmistress of witchcraft and wizardry, Dolores Umbridge. And now, here comes Filch with the whips. Thank you Filch! Now, show these troublemakers what happens to people like them in my school"

Fred looked at George, then back at Umbridge, then spoke with an air that was reminiscent of Malfoy, "No, I don't think we will. Gred, I recon it's time we left our education here, and begin teaching ourselves in the real world. What do you think?"

George looked at him and nodded. "Sounds like a good idea Forge! If anyone wants to buy a portable swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to our new premises in Diagon Alley! Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes!"

And with that, they pointed their wands at small twigs in their hands, and transfigured them back into the brooms they once were. Mounting their brooms, they turned to Peeves, who was hovering above the circle of students.

"Give her hell from us Peeves!"

And Peeves, who Harry had been sure would never take orders from a student, sprang to attention and saluted the twins as they sped out of the entrance doors into the sunlight.

Harry was envious. _Lucky bastards. _Was his exact thought.

For the next week, all that people were talking about was the escape of Fred and George. People kept talking about how they would "Like to just jump on my broom and get out of this place" or "honestly, sometimes I feel like if I had another Umbridge lesson I might just pull a Weasley."

The week after next started innocently enough, or as innocent as it can get with double potions with the greasy bastard who goes by the name of Snape.

Harry had been able to get through the extremely major test Snape gave, thanks to an extreme amount of studying. Harry groaned afterwards, it wasn't even November yet and the school had been completely screwed over. Dumbledore off trying to convince people that old voldie' was back, and Umbridge was Headmistress. Not to mention the fact that the Weasley twins had left after turning the charms corridor into a swamp, forcing Filch to have the job of punting children across it to their classes.

His next class was with Umbridge. Sitting down in his desk and opening his book like a good student, he prepared for an hour of drudgery. After fifty minutes of drudgery, Harry was about to pull out his DL-44 and shoot himself. Or perhaps shoot Umbridge in the face, he was yet undecided. He was about to flip a coin and decide (Heads, himself, Tails, Umbridge) when his comlink beeped.

On instinct, he answered.

"Darth Lirus."

The gravelly voice that answered belonged to none other than his master, Darth Sidious.

"Well, my young apprentice, now that we have the formalities out of the way, return to the _Vengeance _immediately. Tarkin has left, as have five of my previous apprentices. They have set up base camp on Kashyyyk. You and Adali Niamara will be leading the assault."

Harry was astounded. "Tarkin controls an eighth of the navy! It would be in his best interests to stay! He's out of his mind!"

The former Sith sighed. "Yes, I know, but as of right now we can't find a method in his madness. Return to the Star Destroyer at once. Your guard has collected your belongings, and they have taken the shuttle up to the ship, so that leaves you with your fighter."

Harry groaned. "All right sir. Waaaait. Adali? The blue Twi'lek?"

Sidious was clearly impatient. "Yes, yes, her. Just GO!"

Harry spoke the last words. "Yes sir, on my way sir."

Ignoring the incredulous looks of his classmates, Harry pulled out his modified DL-44 and flipped the setting on it from normal to a setting Harry had made over the summer, also known as 'Blow-the-hell-out-of-anything-in-your-way' mode, or simply, High.

Pressing a button on his comlink He settled down to wait for his Old Republic style Jedi Starfighter to come to the window. Umbridge looked as if Christmas had come early.

"Mr. Potter, you will surrender that unknown technology and have detention for the rest of the year."

Seeing his fighter approach the school, he gained an unusual amount of spunk to annoy Um-bitch.

"You know, Um-bitch, I don't think I will. I think I'm going to leave and not come back for a while, so you can go fuck yourself. TA!"

And with that, he stood up and shattered the window in the classroom with three blaster bolts, the glass shattering outward onto the triangle shape that was his fighter.

"Hi R4."

The Droid beeped in a rather angry tone, one Harry supposed was due to the fact that he had just showered glass all over the fighter.

"All right, I apologize for the glass, but we really have to be going."

And with a wave of his wand, his robes became a traditional Jedi style tunic and pants, and looked about to climb out the window and onto the fighter, when he suddenly turned around.

"You know Umbridge, if I were you, I would have already killed myself from shame. Try to avoid my guard when I get back, they will have no moral compunctions about removing your head from your shoulders."

Harry ignited his lightsaber with a Snap-hiss and the emerald blade came out. (Harry had grown tired of the red blade, put him too much in mind of voldie's eyes, and had changed the crystals) He flung the lightsaber at her head, and gave her a very close haircut.

"Don't piss me off either. Good-bye, and I hope it's for the last time."

Harry then jumped onto the ship and sat down in the cockpit. Closing the bubble, Harry yanked the controls into a vertical climb at such a speed that the noise of his breaking the sound barrier could be heard throughout the castle.

Most of the class was in a stupor, although Hermione was whimpering something about the laws of physics. It was Dean Thomas who summed up the class reaction to the incident.

"What the bloody hell just happened?"

AN: Well, here you are. Enjoy.


	4. Chapter 4

Blasters and Wands, Chapter Four

Disclaimer: The rights to any successful franchise would be very nice right about now. Sadly, it is not to be, especially the rights to Harry Potter of Star Wars.

Harry was in his fighter when he received his next transmission, this time from the Star Destroyer orbiting the planet.

"Sir, I'm transmitting the co-ordinates of your hyperdrive ring now. We took the liberty of placing your belongings in the cargo area in your fighter. I had no idea that that area was so small! Oh, and you won't be accompanying you to Kashyyyk. The senate decided to change us back to Clone Troopers as opposed to Stormtroopers, and we have to get new armor. I much prefer that armor to our armor now, we look less, well, evil."

Harry smiled. The trooper was a little nervous at addressing his commander.

"Right trooper. I have the co-ordinates. Have fun with the new armor. I will have some troops with me on Kashyyyk though? Right?"

"Yes sir. The 724th legion will be with you, leading the heroic charge against the evil foes of-"

"Thank you trooper. That will be all." Harry cut the connection. The trooper was starting to sound a little Dobby-ish.

Harry carefully maneuvered his fighter into the hyperdrive ring, locked the clamps, set the co-ordinates for Kashyyyk, and engaged the hyperdrive.

While the blurry background of hyperspace streaked by, he settled in for a nap.

He had been asleep for three hours when the beeping of his communicator jolted him awake.

Still half-asleep, Harry answered the communicator with a sleepy, "Yes?"

The voice of his master's old enemy Yoda came through the speaker, clearly amused at his sleepiness. "Hmm, tired you are. A nap you have taken, yes?"

Fully awake by now, Harry chuckled. "Yes master Yoda, I have taken a nap. But I suspect that was not why you called."

Yoda snorted. "No young one, call for that reason I did not. About padawan Niamara call I have. Take good care of my padawan you will, or tap a frosty keg of whoop-ass on you I will. And do so I definitely could, having accepted my darkside, nine-hundred years old or no."

Harry smiled. From what he could remember, Adali could take care of herself very well, having broken all of the bones in the hand of a man in a bar who had tried to feel her up. "I'll take good care of her master Yoda."

Yoda snorted. "Hmph. Call just for the purpose of warning you, I did not. Call to tell you to meet padawan Niamara in the mess hall of the Star Destroyer _Telemachus _when you get to Kashyyyk I did."

Harry blinked. "And the warning? That was…"

Harry could feel Yoda smile like a contented cat, if cats could smile. "A pleasant opportunity that was. And heed it you will."

"I most certainly will heed it."

Yoda snorted, again. "Hmph. Well, get going I must. Some last minute training with my padawan I must have."

"Well, good-bye then, you'll see both me and your padawan after the battle. We'll be fine."

Yoda took that as the end of the conversation, and cut the connection. Harry jury-rigged his MP3 player to the ship's speakers and began playing some Pink Floyd.

When the alarm sounded for Harry to drop out of hyperspace, it had been eleven hours since his conversation with master Yoda. When he killed the engines, the first thing he saw was a Star Destroyer with the mark of the Old Republic on it and a Mon Calamari cruiser ganging up on a Star Destroyer with the flag of the Empire on it.

Harry immediately released the clamps on the hyperdrive ring and sped into battle. Ducking, weaving and dodging, he targeted all of the main systems on the enemy star Destroyer. He targeted any fighter that didn't display the friendly signal on his computer that he came across, and that happened quite a lot.

By the end of the battle, the enemy fighters were all a bunch of melted slag or spare parts, floating aimlessly around in space. The enemy Star Destroyer was another matter. On fire, gradually spinning towards the sun, its command deck blown into a million pieces, turrets destroyed, and life support a flaming mess pretty much guarantees death for all on board.

He re-docked with his hyperdrive ring and coasted into a special bay set up so he could re-fuel his hyperdrive. As he climbed down he turned and saw Adali jump from the cockpit of a TIE Interceptor. She looked at the ship, shook her head and began walking out of the hangar. Harry ran after her. "Hey, Adali!"

She turned around. "Harry! How are you?"

"Fine thanks, and you?"

Adali smiled, and Harry felt the beginnings of a Cho Chang-ish butterfly attack, before he quashed it. _This is not the time to be worrying about that. We have a war to win. _Were his thoughts on the matter.

"I'm fine thanks." Her face grew grim. "We need to plan out the assault."

Harry nodded. "I have a few ideas. First of all, they're on a beach, and they have shields, so we can't call down an orbital strike. My suggestion is that we mount a distracting assault from- oh. Hold up. You have a map of the base?"

She handed him a map. "Thanks." They sat down at a nearby table "My suggestion is that we mount an assault from the sea that sould distract them while you and I sneak in from here, and disable the shields. Once we've done that, we get the hell out of there, leaving an orbital strike beacon in the base."

She looked at him appraisingly. "Sounds like a plan! When do we get out of here?"

"As soon as the troops are ready, and I've gotten something to eat. Where's the mess hall?"

She laughed. "Figures. You would want to eat."

Harry raised his hands defensively. "Hey, I'm a growing boy!"

"Yeah, yeah. Take a turbolift to the third level and follow the signs."

"Gotcha."

"Hey, I'm coming with, I could use a snack. All that adrenaline really makes you hungry."

Harry smiled. "Righto."

While eating they purposely avoided the subject of the impending invasion, choosing instead to make small talk. But all to soon, they were done with the tea and biscuits they had ordered.

In the hangar, Harry turned to address the troops. "Troops! You will be assaulting the front gate of the base while Adali and myself sneak in and disable their shields. Once we have done so, we will alert you through our comlinks, and you will run back to your transports before the orbital strike comes." Harry stared at the troops. "Well? Let's go!"

Harry and Adali ran back to their fighters, jumped in, and flew out. Harry began speaking. "All right. We're going to land about three kilometers north of the base, and them sneak in. Be ready."

"Right. Three kilometers north, I'll just follow you."

"Off we go then."

They landed three kilometers north of the base, as was expected, and hiked through the low scrub that made up the area. When they got to the wall however, the going got much more tough.

Harry was the first to speak. "Holy shit. That's… a big wall."

Adali stared. "Yeeeeeaaaah. Your talent for understatement amazes me. But, wow. Yeah, it is a big wall."

With the guards distracted by the assault down by the beach, they ran forward and hid in the shadow of the wall.

Adali pulled out her ascension gun, pulling the trigger and slamming the dart into the ramparts of the wall. Harry preferred to make use of the mild sticking charm on his gloves and boots, and shot up the wall like a spider.

Climbing over the wall, they saw the shield generator, a massive spiral that shot a shimmering transparent blue shield into the sky.

"Wow." Harry said, "That's gonna take a lot of explosives."

"Yeah. Come on!"

Clambering silently down the wall, they crept through the streets, barely avoiding several guards. One came so close to their hiding place, Harry thought the guard would stub his toe on Harry's protruding boot.

Creeping close to the shield generator, Harry readied a small thermal detonator. They scampered close to the generator, Harry pulling out a vibro-blade as they ran. Harry isolated the power cord and cut it. The generator clearly had backup batteries, so Adali cut open an access panel, and Harry shoved the thermal detonator inside. There was a muffled 'thump' from inside the generator, and the shield died.

This came at a bad time, as several guards were on patrol nearby, they hurried over to the area. Harry knew he could defend himself, but he wasn't sure about Adali. Harry grabbed her shoulder, and concentrated. As the guards rounded the corner to see the smoke billowing from the access panel, they heard a small pop, and saw no one there.

When Harry and Adali re-appeared at their landing site, Adali looked around to make sure there were no enemies around before yelling at Harry.

"What the Force was that!"

Harry smirked. "That, my dear Adali, was apparition. A technique for instantaneous transport that the force users on my planet came up with. Basically, what you do is take apart your body molecule by molecule, and then reassemble it at the point you want to be."

Adali fainted.

"Hmmph. Kills stormtroopers without a thought, but can't handle the idea of being disassembled."

Harry pointed his wand at her. "Ennervate." She shook her head, blinked a couple of times and then spoke. "Well, I'll forgive you for that just this once, provided you teach me how to do it."

"Will do. But now I suggest we get out of here, for fear of a stray turbolaser blast kicking our butts."

Adali grinned. "Gotcha. Out of here we go."

Hopping into their respective fighters, they took off and sped into space in time to see the Star Destroyer orbiting the planet rain turbolaser blasts down on the facility, shrapnel flying everywhere.

Landing back in the hangar of the Star Destroyer, they went back to the Mess Hall where they played a game of sabbacc, speaking of nothing but their lives. However, when it became Harry's turn to tell his life, they stopped laughing. Once past his life with the Dursleys, (Which had Adali fuming, there really isn't a way to sugar-coat ten years of beating, being treated like a slave, and shoved in a cupboard) he came to Hogwarts.

Adali was amazed at the technology that the Wizarding people had.

"You mean to say, that these people still use candles? You… you cannot be serious!"

"Oh I am. Deadly serious."

What amused her most was how Harry had escaped from Umbridge. Of course, by that time, it was getting late, they were both sleep deprived, and had had a shot of correlian whisky each.

"so, heh, I tells 'er to go fuck 'erself, shatter the window with my blaster, jump into the cockpit, and do a vertical takeoff at five times the speed of sound!"

Adali dissolved into laughter. Suddenly the man who ran the Mess Hall came up to them.

"While I appreciate the laughter and the fact that we have destroyed that base, the war is far from over, and you are in need of sleep. I suggest you stop laughing into your water, and go to bed. And not in the same one either. I know the way a teenager's mind works."

Both Harry and Adali moaned and snapped their fingers.

"Aah, he's got us there Adali. Guess we'd better go to bed."

And under the watchful eye of the bartender, they staggered out of the Mess Hall.

It was halfway between the Mess Hall and Adali's quarters that he realized he didn't know where his quarters were. His drunkenness leaving him in a rush, he asked Adali, "Hey, I don't know where I'm sleeping."

She responded in kind, "Heh, you'll be bunking with me. All the rooms are taken up by troops, so your stuff is in my room. You can take the top bunk because I like the bottom.

Harry yawned and nodded. "Fine by me. Lead the way, great Jedi!"

Collapsing into bed, the last thing he thought was, 'Waaaaaait. What the hell are they playing at, bunking a guy in the same room as a girl, while they're both teenagers. Eh, why do I care.'

When Harry woke up, the first thing he did was sit straight up. A mistake, as it happened, because Imperial engineers weren't known to leave much headroom above a top bunk. He slammed his head into the ceiling, much to the amusement of Adali.

"OW! Son of a bi- Motherless goat!"

"Oh Harry, Harry, Harry. What are we going to do with you? You can't use the force with brain damage you know." She smiled.

Harry gingerly climbed down, paying absolutely no attention to his surroundings. "Oh, shut up you."

He dug through his trunk for some clothes, found some, and made his way into the bathroom to change.

Adali heard him turn on the shower.

"I don't need no arms around me… I don't need no drugs to call me!"

She also heard him singing, something that not even Malfoy should be subjected to. Voldemort definitely, Umbridge and the Death Eaters probably, but not anyone else.

"Harry! Your singing is atrocious! It burns the ears! Stop!"

She could almost see him snort. "Yes dear!" He yelled from the shower.

"Glad you know who's boss Harry!"

"Oh, oh lemme guess! Master Yoda, right!"

"No, Guess again!"

"Ummm. Darth Sidious?"

"Nope. One more try!"

"Oh! Now I get it! You're boss!"

"Correct! Only took you three guesses!"

When Harry stumbled out of the bathroom, the hot water had clearly made him sleepy, as he was moaning "Caffeeeeeiiiiiiine… neeeeeed caffeeeeeiiiine."

Adali snorted. "You go get some caffeine. I'll meet you in the mess hall in half an hour.

"gotcha."

When they did meet in the Mess Hall, they were soon joined by master Yoda.

"hmmm. Heard of the good job you did on the shield generator I did. Well done, yes. But, go to Corucant you must. Track down one of the apprentices you must. Spreading terror in the underworld he is."

Harry groaned. Chasing a man who didn't want to be caught in the underlevels of courucant was exactly what he wanted to do. He definitly wanted to pull the proverbial pin on the proverbial grenade and stick aformentioned proverbial grenade in the proverbial area where the sun doesn't shine.

Adali appeared to be of much the same mind, as she groaned and shook her head.

Harry ventured a question. "Er, exactly how good with a lightsaber is this apprentice?"

"Halfway between yourself and myself he is. Gang up on him you must."

"Shit." Adali said, "That's not good."

Master Yoda hit his apprentice upside the head with his stick. "Language, padawan!"

Harry spoke. "Yeah. I kinda agree with her."

"Hmmph. Depart for corusant soon we will. Here is a holodisk of where spotted, the apprentice has been, as well as a list of crimes commited, the apprentice has."

Harry and Adali ran over to the nearest computer terminal, and inserted the disk, scrolling through the list of bars he's been hanging out in, Harry was struck by the thought that they would have to have a year to maximize their ability to track the man down. Then they came to the list of crimes.

With each crime that scrolled down, a fire grew little by little in Harry's eyes.

Rape, torture, murder, theft, pretty much any crime you could think of, the man had done it.

Needless to say, they had some pretty good reasons to track the man down.

DarthSidiousIsAnEvilBastardDarthSidiousIsAnEvilBastard (This is a break I'm trying out, don't beat me across the head for it) 

Stakeout is one of the most boring things to do for more than a day. When you're doing stakeout for about two and a half months, stuff gets bad. You get bored, sloppy, and stop doing as good a job in general. Harry and Adali had been trying to find the man for two and a half earth months now, and he kept slipping out of their hands. Luckily, Harry had been teaching Adali how to apparate, and that kept them busy. Slightly busy, and only for a month. After that, Adali could apparate to an orbiting Star Destroyer, and not splinch herself.

Until one day, they were at a bar called _The Generous Jawa_, (an oxymoron if there ever was one) and Harry spotted the man. Harry snuck up behind him, and would have wrestled the man into submission, had the man, (Elias Kelan) not been shot at from behind the bar with a portable rocket launcher.

Kelan was blown across the room, surviving only because he had absorbed most of the blast with his lightsaber, which got torn out of his hands by the blast and fell fifty feet out the window. Harry ran toward Kelan, and would have gotten him, had Kelan not dived out the window after his lightsaber.

Adali and Harry followed the man out of the window, and split up at the bottom. Harry went left, Adali went right.

The night was sinister, and not because it was the corucant underworld and there was a rogue dark-sider on the loose, but also because Harry's scar was prickling uncomfortably. Suddenly, Harry heard a muffled scream from Adali.

Harry swore, "Shit!" pulled his invisibility cloak out of his pocket, put it on, and snuck over to the isolated allyway he had heard the scream coming from. What he saw shocked him.

Kelan held Adali up against the wall with the force. "Well, my deary, hear we are, all alone. How about we have some…" He trailed his hand along her chest suggestively, "fun."

Harry growled low in his throat. If there was one thing he despised, it was rapists. Harry rolled his eyes under his invisibility cloak. _Not very Gryffindor-ish of me, but I praise my Slytherin sense of fair play. _His wand snapped up, and he hit the man with a body bind curse.

Harry threw off the cloak, stalking up to the man. He pulled out his pistol, and put a blaster bolt right between the eyes.

Adali blinked. "Not very Jedi like of you, shooting a man when he's down."

Harry snorted. "I have a Sith sense of fair play. Let's see if the man had anything worth taking."

Adali raised her eyebrows. "Looting the corpse?"

"Well, if the man has a Holocron, we want to have it, right? Also, the man got blown into a wall and his lightsaber flew through a window, fell fifty feet, and survived. I want to know how he managed that."

Suddenly, Harry's scar exploded in pain.

AN: Ah, my first 'evil cliffe' as I believe they are called. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! If you did, do send a review my way.


	5. Chapter 5

Blasters and Wands, Chapter Five

Harry lost his grip on his mental shields, and found himself seeing through Voldemort's eyes. The man, well, thing now, was very unhappy.

"Fine. Since my followers have proven themselves incompetent, I will go to the ministry of magic myself. When I return, I will have the prophesy in hand. Wormtail!"

The sniveling coward trembled forward. "Y-yes my l-l-lord?"

Voldemort sneered. "I want you to sneak into the Ministry of magic and set a notice up on the board that the building is to be cleared from five A.M to six A.M. tomorrow."

"Y-y-y-yes m-my l-l-lord." Wormtail turned to leave.

Voldemort hissed. "Did I give you permission to leave wormtail? CRUCIO!"

Wormtail collapsed on the ground, screaming and twitching.

"Now get out of my sight you sniveling wretch!"

Wormtail bowed, and left.

"Good. Things are finally coming together."

Harry ripped himself from Tom's mind, shrieking.

Adali was at his side in a flash. "Harry, what's wrong, speak to me!"

Harry grimaced, and did some mental calculations. "I have a permanent mental connection to a dark lord on my home planet. He's planning something bad on my planet, and I have to be back by tomorrow, which means I have to leave in…" he looked at his chrono "an hour."

"Well, we'd best get packing then."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "We?"

Adali smirked. "Yes, WE. Can't have you hogging all the fun, now can we?"

"I'm serious. This guy is no pushover. In fact, even if I get there and manage to stop him, he'll probably leave only because I keep him from getting into the area he wants to go in the time limit he has, as opposed to me actually injuring him. And even if I do injure him, it'll be a long drawn out battle before I manage to do so."

Her face grew grim. "Well, if he's as bad as you say,"

"Oh, he is." Harry interjected.

"Then you'll need all the help you can get. And I intend to be there, helping you."

Harry smiled. "Well, thanks. But we need to get out of here. A _Lambda _class shuttle has a nice hyperdrive, that ought to do the trick."

"Sounds good, just let me get my stuff first."

"You're sure?"

"Quite. Now come on!"

As they ran back to where they had parked their speeder, Harry turned to Adali and said, "You know, this seems a bit anti-climactic. Eight months of stakeout, and the guy is finished by a body-bind charm and a blaster bolt, and we raid the man's corpse."

"Yeah, well, no one said it had to be a climactic lightsaber duel either, and if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not take a lightsaber through the head."

"Agreed."

Adali opened her mouth, said something about biomechanical limb replacements, and then ran smack-dab into the speeder. Harry almost fell over he was laughing so hard.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. But we only have forty minutes to get into hyperspace."

Harry instantly sobered up, and jumped into the pilots seat. Adali got into the passengers seat and strapped herself in.

"Let's see what this thing can do, eh?"

Harry responded with a grin. "Why Adali, we're pressed for time! I'm going to break any speed limit we come across, and if that means dangerous acrobatic maneuvers, then why we'll be doing those!"

"Sounds good to me!"

The speeder trip back to the newly rebuilt Jedi Temple was hair raising to say the least, but luckily Adali shared Harry's views on fast speeder rides.

"Well, that was exhilarating!"

"Yeah, bit scary if you're in the passenger seat, but was that loop the loop really necessary? " Adali asked, an amused tone in her voice.

"Well, now that you say it, no, it wasn't. So what? Life isn't life without a hair raising acrobatic maneuver or three."

Rushing into the temple, they ran all the way to the new council chambers, where Yoda, Sidious, Skywalker and Kenobi were talking.

Harry and Adali spoke in stereo, "Masters…"

Adali took over. "We got Kelan! Someone, we're guessing a victim of one of his crimes, shot him with a portable rocket launcher. He absorbed most of the blast with his lightsaber, but he jumped out a window after it, and we followed."

Harry cut in, "We split up, Adali found him, but he manged to get the jump on her, and had her trapped. I sunk after him under my invisibility cloak, hit him with a body bind charm, and placed a blaster bolt between his eyes." Most of the council winced at this, only Skywalker, or Vader in public, showed no sign of wincing, although that was mostly because of the suit, Harry supposed.

"After that, I received a vision. Masters, Voldemort is planning something. I have to get back to my planet in time to stop him, which means I have to be out of here in half of a standard hour."

Sidious spoke. "Yes, we'd been meaning to talk to you about that. Apparently, Tarkin found out about your planet, and decided to get in touch with Tom."

Harry's eyes widened. "Oh. Shi- great. So in addition to his usual army of evil creatures, we'll have to deal with storm troopers."

Kenobi winced. "Well, that and battle droids."

Harry's eyes widened. "Come again?"

"Battle droids. Tarkin found an abandoned factory on Geonosis and fired it up. He's turning out CIS weapons at an extraordinary rate, probably incase the stormtroopers decide that what he is doing is treason and he has to replace them."

Harry shook his head. "I can't worry about that now, I just have to get back to my planet and deal with Tom. I can deal with battle droids and their ilk later."

Skywalker spoke up. "Feel free to commandeer my shuttle, although I daresay you'll want your fighter."

"Harry's going up against a force that could tear him apart," Adali said, "and he needs all the help he can get, so I'm coming with him. Quite obviously, we can't both fit into his fighter, so we'll be commandeering your shuttle, Master Skywalker."

Every master blinked, well, Harry couldn't tell with Skywalker's mask, but he assumed he had blinked as well.

Kenobi was the one to express the general feeling of the council. "Well, that's… unexpected, to say the least. Might I ask why?"

"Partners don't abandon each other."

The council dismissed them, saying that troops were unable to help them, and they'd have to go it alone.

As they left, Adali looked at Harry and said, "Do you get the feeling they're testing us with this?"

"Of course! No troops, just ol' voldie and us. I can smell at test from miles away!"

With that… comforting knowledge in mind, they gathered what essentials they needed and departed for Earth.

On the long hyperspace trip, Harry thought back to what his master had told him about the species in the galaxy.

"There are many sentient species in the galaxy, my young apprentice, and humans are just a more common one. Many species have similar DNA to human DNA, leading to fertile offspring that are half human and half blank. Other species with similar roots, like the Duros and the Nemoidians can produce fertile offspring. Add that to the fact that with today's technology you could probably do just about anything with DNA, you could probably have a half Gran half Duro child." The galaxy was a complicated place.

After about thirteen hours, the alarm began beeping to kill the hyperdrive. Doing so, Harry switched on the cloaking device, and began to descend into the atmosphere. They landed in a secure area near the ministry visitor's entrance, and lowered the boarding ramp.

Harry checked to make sure his blaster pistol was set to blow-the-hell-out-of-anything-in-your-way mode, and that the lightsaber of Exar Kun was hidden in his cloak, and disembarked, followed by Adali.

"Stick close Adali," Harry murmured, "I don't like the feel of this."

"Agreed."

They crept over to the phone booth that housed the lift to the Ministry of Magic, cramming in. Harry would have been uncomfortable in any other circumstances, such as being crammed into the booth with Ron, but Adali's closeness seemed to make him want to just get the battle over with so he could snog her senseless.

Harry blinked, and wondered where that thought had come from. Then he remembered. 'Oh, wait. I'm a teenager. Goddamn hormones.'

Harry punched in the numbers 6-2-4-4-2 into the phone. A cool, female voice rang throughout the booth.

"Visitor to the ministry, please state your name and purpose at the ministry."

Adali answered. "Adali Niamara and Harry Potter, we're here to stop Voldemort from attaining whatever it is he wants to attain."

"Very well. Visitor, please take your badge and attach it to the front of your robes. You are required to submit your wands for inspection at the desk at the far end of the atrium."

Harry snorted. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, can we get on with this?"

Harry passed Adali her badge before he looked at his, and when he did, he let out a bark of laughter. The badge read:

Harry Potter

Futile Attempt to Stop He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

From Attaining an Object He Wants.

The lift descended to the Atrium. Harry barely had time to marvel at the statue in the center before Adali pushed him to the far end, where they took their places. Harry heard the telltale crack of apparition, and ignited his lightsaber, noticing that Adali did so almost at the exact same time he did.

Now imagine you're Voldemort. You've had a reasonably good day, stripped the flesh off of several people who've failed you, and you're about to get the one object that will clarify just about everything that's happened since you've tried to kill the Potter boy.

You're expecting the building to be nice and clear so you can get in and out with no problems. So imagine Tom's surprise when he sees two people holding glowing green and blue sticks, blocking his way into the ministry.

Before the battle began, Harry couldn't resist one last crack.

"Visitor to the ministry, you are required to submit your wand for inspection at the desk at the far end of the atrium."

And then battle was joined.

The first thing Tom did was toss two killing curses their way, which were promptly blocked by lightsaber blades. Harry let loose a force lightning blast, which Tom absorbed by creating a large silver shield on his arm. The lightning hit the shield and made a loud gonging noise, but caused no physical damage.

Tom flicked his wand at Adali and she, caught unawares, was flung back to the area surrounding the visitor's entrance. She hit the wall beside the entrance, and slumped to the ground, unconscious.

Seeing her slam into the wall like that sparked a fire in Harry. Rage became clearly visible on his face, as his visage twisted into an expression of pure hatred. Dark side power crackled on his fingertips, begging to be used.

Harry unleashed a stream of force lightning so powerful it melted the shield Tom held up to block the lightning, and coursed through Tom's body. How long Harry held Tom under the lightning Harry didn't know, but eventually Tom managed to get a Killing Curse at Harry.

Harry put up his lightsaber to block, but underestimated the power of the curse. It hit the lightsaber blade full on, the influx of energy overloading the power cell and shutting the lightsaber off. The kinetic energy tore the lightsaber from Harry's hands and smashed him into the wall behind the desk.

Tom stood up, panting. "Impressive, Potter. A shame that such an impressive display of magic cannot save you, and without that blade you cannot block my killing curses. Avada Kedavra!"

Harry ignited the top blade of Exar Kun's lightaber, and blocked the curse, staggering to his feet. Several broken ribs ground against each other, and he held his left arm gingerly.

Tom blinked. "Impressive. I'm surprised you're even able to get up with such injuries."

Harry looked up at the thing with hatred, and decided to borrow a line from Anakin Skywalker. "You'll find I'm full of surprises."

"If I might ask, why did you not use that blade before?"

Harry shrugged, suppressing the wince the came because of the pain. "Well, the blade hasn't been used in god knows how long, probably over two millennia. I never did get the dates for that right."

Harry suddenly swapped the lightsaber to his left hand, ignoring the pain, and pulled out his blaster. Harry put a bolt into Tom's shoulder, his aim clearly impaired by the pain.

Tom snarled. "Foolish child, you dare to harm me!"

Harry swayed slightly on his feet. "Yes, yes I do."

Tom looked about to cast the Avada Kedavra again, when people began apparating in. He grimaced, and apparated out. Behind him, Fudge and several aurors stared in shock.

Fudge had been having a bad week. More and more people were starting to believe Dumbledore, and crying out for the, Fudge sneered, Boy-Who-Lived to be found. Fudge honestly didn't care if a dragon had eaten the boy, as he was causing an upset. So imagine how poor old fudgy-poo felt when he apparated into the ministry, hoping to get an early start on some paperwork, and found Harry Potter fighting he-who-must-not-be-named in the atrium.

Adali regained consciousness in time to see Harry shoot Tom. She tried to clear her head, but the stammerings of Fudge and the aurors about Voldemort didn't help. Her brain cleared up pretty fast when she saw Harry sway and collapse onto the ground after turning off the lightsaber.

Adali, already worried about Harry, shrieked, "Harry!" and ran over to him. Whatever Fudge and the aurors were expecting to see, it wasn't a blue teenage girl with prehensile head tails running across the atrium.

She kneeled down by Harry's prone form, lightly slapping him across the face a couple times to wake him up.

"Harry don't die on me, please."

Harry cracked his eyes open. "Don't worry Adali. It's only a couple of broken ribs. Well, and an arm. And some severe bruising, but a couple of days and some bacta, and I'll be fine."

Adali smiled tearfully. "Still the same old Harry at least. I don't think I can ask for any more than that."

She cradled his head in her lap, and Harry, exhausted from fighting and the amount of force lightning he used, succumbed to the pull of sleep.

Fudge approached, now that Harry, the only person known besides Dumbledore to have held his own in a duel against Voldemort was unconscious, and rudely asked Adali, "What are you?"

Adali glared at him. "I am a Twi'lek, not that it matters now. Call healers! Harry's in a bad state!"

Crumbling under the glare of Adali, Fudge yelled to his Aurors, "Call healers! Harry Potter's badly injured! And call Dumbledore too! No doubt he's wondering where Harry is!"

Harry woke up three days later, Harry woke in a hospital bed, with the faint odor of bacta hanging around. He also saw someone slumbering in a chair next to his bed. Upon closer inspection, it was revealed to be Adali. She was sleeping like a droid without a power cell, and if the tear streaks on her face were any indication, she was profoundly worried about him. She had a chair right next to his bed, and had apparently fallen asleep in it.

Harry gently stood up, thanking the doctors of wherever he was for having the sense to not take off his limbs. He set about collecting his belongings from around the room, and once he had done so, he sat down in a chair in the corner of the room, and waited.

He didn't have to wait for very long, as after ten minutes, a nurse strode in, bedecked in garishly purple robes. Her eyes widened in surprise at seeing Harry up and around, and then she remembered he was one of two people to have dueled Voldemort to a standstill, and lost any feeling of surprise she had.

"Well, Mr. Potter, how are you feeling?"

Harry's mouth quirked at the right corner. "Like I could kill an Acklay with my bare hands."

The nurse raised an eyebrow. "And an acklay would be…"

Harry groaned. He missed traveling. "Let's just say it's a dangerous beast, and leave it at that. Am I free to go?"

The nurse glanced at some charts she had on a clipboard. "Yes, you're free to go. That substance your, ah," she seemed to be hesitating between the words girlfriend and friend here, (Harry smirked in amusement, how he wished…) "friend brought back worked wonders, healed you right up. You probably want to wake your friend and go, so turn left in the corridor, and go down the stairs to the bottom. Check out at the main desk, floo is on the left."

Harry smiled, thanked her, and began trying to shake Adali awake. This was a difficult task, as she had somehow wedged herself deep into the confines of the very squishy chair in such a way that it was very hard to shake her. Harry somehow managed it by poking her in the shoulder until she woke up.

By the fifth poke, she jolted upright with her beloved lightsaber in hand. Harry jumped backward, well out of lightsaber range.

"Woah! Easy there, miss high-strung!"

Adali grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."

"s'alright. So…" They began walking down the corridor, "what did you tell them?"

"everything."

Harry blinked. "Everything?"

"Yes."

Harry laughed. "Well, at least it saves me the trouble of explaining everything to Ron and Hermione."

Adali raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Harry snorted. "You've clearly forgotten everything I've taught you about the wizarding press. They don't know the meaning of restraint."

The rounded the corner into the lobby, and were blinded by the flashbulbs of about thirty cameras.

Harry blinked once or twice, trying desperately to get the spots out of his eyes.

"Augggh! Stang it all! See what I mean Adali? We're in a hospital for crying out loud!"

He turned on the press, subjecting them to a glare almost worthy of a basilisk.

"Have you people no shame! We're in a hospital! You're disturbing the patients!"

When none of them moved, Harry gave them all a strong force-push.

At a display like that, they left, muttering, through the floo or apparition.

Harry turned to the receptionist, a fake smile plastered on his face.

"Harry Potter," he said through clenched teeth, "checking out."

The receptionist instantly brightened. "Oh, Mr. Potter, what an honor to meet you! I've always wanted to meet the man who felled the dark lord, I…"

She began to ramble. Harry held up his hand, dropping the fake smile. When that didn't stop her, Harry began developing a nervous tic in his right eye. Adali, ever watchful, noticed this almost immediately. Instead of helping him like Harry expected her to, she stuffed her fist into her mouth in a desperate, if futile, attempt not to laugh.

"Madam." Harry growled. When she didn't stop talking (further fuelling Adali's laughter) Harry said it again, louder. "Madam! I am just checking out. Kindly perform whatever tasks you have to perform, and be done with it!""

Adali abandoned all pretense of composure, and curled up on the floor, laughter shaking her thin frame. Harry rolled his eyes and stared at the chagrined receptionist.

"Yes sir, right away Mr. Potter."

Harry sighed in relief. "Thank you. Now Adali, if you have finished making a scene in the lobby of St. Mungo's, I think it's time we contacted the masters."

Adali composed herself quickly, a surprising feat for one who had been crying with mirth just seconds before. "Already done."

Harry blinked. "…Wow. You don't waste time, do you?"

"You were asleep for thirteen hours Harry. I was only asleep for three of them. Well, so far as I know."

Harry looked at his chrono. "Yup, you're right. Five o'clock is the time. Hey! It's Christmas Eve! We have to get to Diagon Alley at once!"

Harry pulled Adali along by her hand to the fireplace, with Adali wondering what in the force was going on.

AN: Well, Another chapter. Took me long enough, but there you are. Feel free to review, and don't get hit by a bus.

Update: For those of you that have been paying attention, this chapter appeared to end rather abruptly. This was not on purpose. Something made the chapter go screwy. As you can tell, it has been fixed.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Chapter 6 of this story is mine, but the majority of the characters in it are not. As such, you are not to take a leaf out of Weird Al's book and sue me for every penny I've got, as I acknowledge that the vast majority of this story is not, in fact mine, other than the plot. Wow that was long.

Chapter Six:

Apparition was a funny thing, very touchy. In order to apparate while distracted, you had to have considerable mental discipline. Even those who have that discipline can be surprised enough to screw it up. Thankfully, the apparition that Harry preformed was pulled off flawlessly. They popped into the Diagon Alley designated apparition point, and Harry immediately sped off down the alley, dragging Adali behind him.

"Here we are," he said, a proud grin on his face, "Ollivander's Wands."

The shop was tilted at a crazy angle, something along the line of 80ish degrees. Wizards would appear to have a dislike of perpendicular angles. A small sign hung over the door, sporting the words 'Ollivander's Wands' and a notice. The notice read, "Due to the rise of He-Who-Must–Not-Be-Named, the ministry has decreed that all people buying wands will be checked for the dark mark."

Harry and Adali stared. And stared. And were stared at, mostly because Adali had left her lekku undisguised. But that's not important right now.

Apparently, Harry and Adali were thinking along the same lines, seeing as how they both asked, "Why" at roughly the same time.

Harry continued, "Right, because old Voldie-kins is definitely going to accept followers without wands. And therefore, by making wand makers check people for the dark mark, you submit them to a time wasting procedure that will make us the laughingstock of the world. Well done."

Adali raised an eyebrow. "Someone forgot to take their happy pill this morning."

Harry pulled open the door and grumbled.

"Oh, shut it, you."

Adali walked in, a smirk gracing her features.

Ollivander, as he had some last time Harry was in his shop, tried to sneak up on them by dropping from the ceiling. 'Tried' was the operative word, because you don't spend a long time on stakeout without sharpening your senses, worried that the person you were looking for was going to sneak up behind you and stab you twenty three times with a blunt knife. Ollivander dropped down and found himself staring down the muzzles of Harry and Adali's blaster pistols.

Of course, blasters are really only needed if the person you have them pointed at is trying to kill you, which Ollivander was most certainly not trying to do.

Ollivander, to his credit, took this small surprise remarkably well.

"Mr. Potter. Such a pleasure to see you again. And this would be your friend Ms. Niamara."

Adali grinned slightly, turning her head to take in the sight of all the wands in the shop. "So, this is famous shop I've heard so much about. I assume I was dragged here to get a wand, Harry?"

Harry raised an eyebrow sardonically. "No, you were dragged here so that my associate Ollivander and I could chop you into little bitty pieces and use them as ritual ingredients. Of course you're here for a wand."

Ollivander showed no reaction at their antics, and his magical tape measure was out measuring Adali before they had finished. Adali finally noticed the tape measure when it started measuring the diameter of her ear canal. Needless to say, she jumped.

"Holy mother of Yoda! … Was that thing measuring the diameter of my ear canal?"

Ollivander responded with a simple, "Yes" his silver eyes glinting strangely.

"Take this, Ms. Niamara. Beech and dragon heartstring."

Adali took the wand, waved it, and yelped when sparks shot out of the handle of the wand.

Even Ollivander seemed a little surprised at that. "Right. Not that one. Perhaps this?"

He handed Adali another wand, which, to no one's surprise did not work. They worked their way through what must have been a quarter of the wands in the shop before she picked one up, elm and phoenix feather.

"Interesting combination, not many use those two combined. Generally those that do master it are incredibly powerful."

Harry smirked. He really should have known…

"So, how much for the wand?"

Adali turned to Harry, aghast.

"Consider it an early Christmas present. Besides, what were you going to buy it with?"

At that, Adali shut up.

Ollivander deemed it a good time to respond. "Seven galleons, please."

They walked out, and were halfway to the apothecary when Harry realized that Ollivander hadn't checked Adali for the dark mark. Seems Harry wasn't the only person capable of standing up for himself. Well, to be fair, Adali was reasonably good at that.

Harry and Adali Apparated off to their Lambda class shuttle, intent on flying it out to Hogwarts. Harry entered in the code to open the boarding ramp and moved smoothly backward when it almost clonked him on the head. Pointedly ignoring the sniggers that were coming from Adali's mouth, he climbed into the cockpit. Strapping himself in, he activated the cloaking device and took off smoothly, rising from the ground, looking not so much like a shuttle as they did a heat illusion. Which in and of itself was odd, seeing as how it was Christmas Eve. However, no muggle took notice, as they were all trying their darndest to avoid the cold.

Harry swung the nose toward Scotland, and hit the thrusters as soon as they were above the clouds. Harry passed the controls over to Adali, who accepted them wordlessly.

Harry maneuvered his way into the back of the shuttle and opened up the workbench. Removing a power cell from the rack behind him, he proceeded to attempt to open up his lightsaber.

Roughly five minutes later, Harry realized that he had soldered the hatch shut, and not screwed it shut, so he needed a laser. Then he realized he needed an even more powerful laser, because the solder was made of a cortosis weave. Then he remembered he had put in an alternate hatch. He seriously needed to work on his memory, because sooner or later he was going to accidentally forget that his thermal detonators were going to go off in a couple of seconds.

Harry flipped open the secondary hatch and reached in for his power cell. Or, at least, he tried, because when his fingers encountered the least bit of resistance, the power cell crumbled into ash. Harry raised his eyebrows in curiosity. 'Voldemort has one hell of a Killing curse.' He thought. 'These things don't just vaporize because of a simple power overload.'

He delicately maneuvered a new power cell into the socket, cursing profusely and sweating as it nearly snapped in half.

"Goddamn things just had to be so bleeding fragile didn't they?"

Harry slowly eased the power cell into place, and gingerly replaced the cover, half expecting it to blow up in his face. It was a highly irrational fear, one that was not caused by anything specific, except for nothing seeming to happen normally around him. Holding the lightsaber as far away from him as humanly possible, he pressed the power button.

The blade snapped to life in the blink of an eye, surprising Harry quite a bit. He had been expecting it to explode or something.

He shut the lightsaber off, returning to the cockpit.

"So, I take it the lightsaber didn't explode on you?" Adali asked, her eyes fixated on the castle up ahead.

"Pipe down and work on not flying us into that tower."

Adali flipped a rather important looking switch and they proceeded to drop like a rock.

Harry had yet to sit down.

"Holy mother of god Adali! What did you do?"

"Oh, I just shut off the repulsorlifts."

"You mean the repulsorlifts that were holding us up?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful. Any chance you could turn them back on before we smash into the ground and die?"

Adali flicked the switch back up, reveling in the hum as the repulsorlifts engaged.

Harry let out an imperceptible sigh, falling down into his chair.

"Well, looks like I lose my status as most reckless flyer. I mean, cripes. I knew you were crazy, but killing the repulsorlifts to lose altitude? You now have the award."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's focus on not dying by smashing into the ground next time. Please?"

Adali wordlessly chuckled and set the ship down on the lawn, shutting off the cloaking field.

The sight of a futuristic contraption setting down on the lawn in front of the castle was enough to shock several people into falling over in a dead faint, and send all the prefects scurrying inside to inform the teachers.

Harry grabbed a blaster rifle and some grenades and stuffed them in his cloak. Adali, seeing the wisdom of always being prepared copied his actions. Vader always was a weaponry freak.

Harry and Adali rushed up to the castle doors, pushing them open. Harry led the way up to Dumbledore's office, brushing aside several singing suits of armor as he did so. He dashed up to the Headmasters office, the gargoyle jumping aside for him to climb the stairs. Harry and Adali arrived to an empty office.

Harry smacked himself in the head.

"Of course, Umbridge took over. The head's office wouldn't let her in, now I remember."

Another whirlwind trip down to the defense prof's office, found Harry standing in front of a locked door, blocked by two suits of armor. Harry tried to brush past them, and was thrown backwards for his trouble. Harry got up, and was interrupted by the sound of a lightsaber extending and cutting straight through several things. When he did get up, the two suits of armor were smoking heaps on the floor, the door had been hacked off its hinges and from what he could tell, Adali was threatening Umbridge with a lighsaber.

Harry wasn't worried until something lit on fire. Umbridge's desk, to be precise.

Harry rushed in, intent on keeping Umbridge from lighting anything else on fire when he realized that Adali had her wand in her hand, pointing at Umbridge's desk. Umbridge, psycho though she was, did not appear to like fire. She was cringing behind her chair, clearly frightened of the 'Psycho Blue Alien Girl' who had burst in and demanded information on the state of the ministry.

Harry quirked an eyebrow.

"Adali, much as I like to see Umbridge put in her place, that does not include being lit on fire. Entertaining though it would be."

Adali pivoted on her heel, a fire in her eyes.

"Harry, the ministry has put out a warrant for you to immediately be kissed by a dementor."

"…shit."

AN: Well, it took me long enough, wouldn't you say? Please, yell at me or something. In addition to classes, I just don't think about my stories until it's to late in the day to do anything about them. So, the latest chapter is up, finally, so I think I can finally get to having Harry and Adali beat the living hell out of Voldemort. The rating may go up for violence. Death Eaters may be impaled by foot long pieces of iron, and/or have their heads busted in with a ratchet.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Outside of the story line and a couple characters, I own nothing.

Chapter Seven:

Harry blinked again, this time thinking slightly more logically than 'shit, we're going to die.'

Harry absently flicked his wand at Umbridge's desk, putting it out. He turned to Umbridge, a steely glint in his eyes.

"Now why on earth would the minister do something like that?" Harry spoke slowly, pulling out a knife and examining the edge, as if to make sure it was sharp.

Umbridge gulped, realizing the knife was an obvious threat.

"Well, technically, I suppose he didn't. If he had listened to me, however, he would have."

Harry quirked an eyebrow.

"I advised him to, but he didn't listen to me, oh no. He just wanted you to be brought him in for questioning. So I gave the order instead."

Harry savagely flicked his wand in her direction and a few tens of millions of volts flew from his wand and into Umbridge.

Adali didn't so much as blink at the display of sadism.

"You've been wanting to do that for a while, huh."

"Yes."

"We've got to find a way out of here before the dementors catch up with us." Harry growled.

They ran out of the office, leaving Umbridge to twitch and groan on the floor. They then burst through the main doors, intent on getting to the shuttle, whereupon, they would fly to the Ministry and explain the whole thing.

They sprinted up the ramp, unaware they were being followed. When they had the ramp closed they activated the cloak and took off. Only then did they hear the clunk of something wooden on the floor behind them. Harry flicked the autopilot hover on and pulled his lightsaber and wand out, and burst into the cabin of the shuttle. Mad-Eye Moody sat on a bench in the back, looking very impressed.

"I must say lad, this is a fine piece of machinery, although the way you took care of Umbridge was much more impressive. I haven't seen that particular curse in many a year."

Harry had gone from battle ready to sheet white in less than five seconds. Moody, paranoid Ex-Auror extraordinaire had seen him electrocute Umbridge.

"Relax. I honestly would have liked to see a bit more pain on her part, but I suppose that can be forgiven. I won't turn you in; although I think you should read this and show it to your… partner." The last word was said with a leer that unnerved Harry in the implications it contained. Moody handed Harry a scrap of parchment with the words "The Order of the Phoenix can be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place."

"Right. I'll get right on that. Provided, of course, that you tell me how many hours of teaching me you had last year."

Moody grinned. "Smart, I didn't actually teach you last year."

Harry spun on his heel and made his way back into the cockpit.

Adali had her rifle trained on the door, and Harry knew she would open fire at the first sign of trouble, so he knocked three times.

"Adali, it's me. Moody's in the back and followed us from the castle. We probably need to find out what the hell he's doing here, but for now-"

Adali opened the door and yanked Harry in by his collar

Moody, watching all this from behind, chuckled.

The speech resumed from behind the door. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, Moody wants you to have a look at this."

Adali yanked the parchment from his hands, read it and threw it on the ground, before turning to Harry.

"Well, that's just peachy, now what am I supposed to do with that information?"

"I assume one would ask the delivery man. Oh Moody?" Harry called out to Moody in a sing-song voice.

Moody growled, clearly annoyed. "Potter, if you would get your sorry rear end out here, than I might tell you what you're supposed to do, and why I want to do it."

Harry opened the door and turned to Moody.

"So, what are we supposed to do, and why should we do it?"

"Go there, of course. I can steer you there, assuming, of course, you want to avoid having your souls removed by a dementor." Moody grunted. "Of course, you could have suicidal tendencies, so if you want to die, let me off somewhere so I don't have to die."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Hardly, sir. You'll be up in the cockpit, guiding Adali to… Grimmauld place, was it?"

Moddy nodded and moved up to the cockpit. Harry was strapping himself into the back turret when the ship abruptly jerked to the left.

"What in the name of all things holy happened to you?"

Harry winced. Looks like he had forgotten to warn Adali about Moody's appearance. Whoops.

Moody's grumble was unintelligible from the turret, but whatever he said killed any and all noises from the cockpit.

Harry peered out of the turret, looking for any signs of trouble. One the bad things about this design was that there were no turrets on the sides, top or bottom. Should an enemy approach from any of those places, they'd be quite capable of shredding the shuttle into pieces. As such, Harry spent a nervous forty minutes staring at the radar in a paranoid fervor.

When they finally touched down on the ground, he let out an audible breath. His relief didn't last long, as he suddenly realized that they could've landed in the middle of the street for all he knew. And while the cloak was capable of bending light, it was most certainly not capable of bending physical things around it.

Harry dashed up to the cockpit, wrenching the door open, only to discover that Adali had had the common sense to avoid setting down in the street. Instead of putting it there, she had landed on top of the house. Harry prayed that the house was structurally stable before punching a panel on the wall. The boarding ramp descended, leaving Harry staring at the roof.

There was no door, no way to get into the house. Harry frowned at the roof as if it had insulted him. He drew his lightsaber and cut a smoking hole in the aforementioned roof. Harry stared down at the floor of the attic underneath him. Perhaps cutting a hole in the roof wasn't the best of ideas, as the hippogriff in the attic seemed to take personal offense at the roof over its head being chopped open.

"Hmmg. Oh well." Harry looked over his shoulder at the shuttle, expecting to see Adali and Moody walking down. He was not disappointed. Adali was leading, while Moody was salivating over a thermal detonator, as if imagining the damage it could do. Which, incidentally, was quite a bit.

Harry used the force to depress a button on the shuttle, raising the ramp.

He dropped through the hole in the roof, making sure to quickly bow to Buckbeak as he did so. Harry edged to the side, allowing room for both Adali and Moody to drop through.

Adali did so, immediately recognizing a hippogriff from Harry's description, and bowing. She stood still for several seconds, waiting for Buckbeak to bow. He did, after a certain amount of time. Adali moved to the left, imperceptibly sighing in relief.

Moddy dropped down, his wooden leg making a loud thunking noise on the wooden floor. Harry eyed Moody's leg.

'I bet he'd be a proper old Auror with that leg of his fixed. He'd probably be interested in getting that leg replaced with something more functional.'

Moody ushered them out of the room, shutting the attic door behind them so Buckbeak couldn't get out and into the halls. Harry vaguely hear shrieks coming from downstairs.

"SCUM! FILTHY HALF-BREEDS AND MUDBLOODS BESMIRCHING THE HOUSE OF MY FATHERS! GET OUT, OUT I SAID! MAY YOU ALL BURN IN HE-"

She was cut off partway through her tirade, although it sounded like she was just repeating herself, over and over again. There was one more voice that Harry was very happy to hear from downstairs.

"SHUT UP, YOU STUPID USLESS HAG!"

Harry was very happy to hear the voice of his godfather from down below, but was puzzled as to who the yelling, bigoted female was from downstairs.

Moody leads the way downstairs, his wooden leg thunking on the way down. Of course, considering the yelling going on downstairs, there wasn't much way anyone could hear it, but for a man of stealth the noise was inexcusable.

Harry made a mental note to talk to Moody later; an ally could be useful. They made their way down the stairs.

They reached the bottom without incident, to find an empty hallway. They tiptoed their way down the hallway, except for Moody, who cast a silencing spell on his leg, and opened the door at the end.

The kitchen, for that was what it was, was full of people. As such, when Moody opened the door, it took a little while for the room to quiet down. This time was shortened when Moody removed his wand and made two loud bangs to attract their attention. As all eyes swiveled toward them, Harry suddenly realized he was going to be greeted… enthusiastically.

He had just enough time to register that Dumbledore was not there before Molly Weasley jumped up and grabbed him in a bone crushing hug. Or, rather, tried to.

Harry used the force to keep the Weasley matriarch at bay, while jumping backwards.

"Nothing against you, Mrs. Weasley, but I really dislike physical contact."

Mrs. Weasley didn't really know how to respond to that.

"Oh, um, okay Harry…"

Harry drew up a char for both himself and Adali. Wandlessly, to boot. He figured, so long as he was telling them everything, he might as well show off a bit too.

Harry almost giggled at the sight of Hermionie's face. Undoubtedly, she was attempting to recall a single episode of wandless magic from one of her books. There were some, but not since the era when earth was first colonized had wandless magic, also known as the manipulation of the force, been used widely.

They sat down.

"Hermionie, don't bother trying to think of a time when wandless magic was used. You won't find one. This planet hasn't had widespread wandless magic used for several thousand years."

Hermionie blinked.

"Well then, if that's true, where did you suddenly get the ability?"

"Off the planet."

Hermionie's eyebrows contracted in thought.

"But modern technology hasn't progressed to the point of being able to get out of the solar system yet, and to add to that, there's been no proof that life even exists outside of this planet."

Harry groaned.

"Hermione. The galaxy is huge, correct. Now, the sheer number of systems says that the probability is there that many, many planets would develop life."

Hermione stared at the tabletop, obviously deep in thought.

"It might also interest you, I mean, so long as I'm coming clean, that Earth is not the birthplace of humanity. Nor is my friend over there human." Adali dropped her illusion.

The people around the table gasped and began chattering quickly.

Harry growled. They ignored him.

"Shut up." Again, the people ignored him.

"Shut up!" He said, somewhat louder. By this time, that chatter had grown to become what could be defined as a din.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Surprisingly, the people managed to ignore even that, so Harry cut the table in half with his lightsaber.

That got their attention.

Hermione made a quiet inquiry, "Harry, what exactly did you use to cut the table in half, and was it really necessary to do so?"

Harry chuckled, this was typical Hermione. "That, Hermione, was a lightsaber. And seeing as how you all didn't shut up when I told you to, I would say that yes, it was absolutely necessary to cut the table in half."

"Huh."

Harry shut off his lightsaber.

"Does anyone else have any stupid questions that will lead to unregulated conversation, and thus to even more property damage?"

Silence was the answer.

"Good. Now, as I was saying, I got this out of this solar system. You will want to read the Daily Prophet to get the whole thing. I hope they got it right."

Harry watched as an owl swooped down the chimney bearing a copy of the Prophet. Remus dumbly gave the owl a sickle and took the paper.

He unfolded the paper. As he read the article, his face gradually got paler.

Harry had not read the article yet, so when the paper had finished being passed around the increasingly pale inhabitants of the room, he took it.

_Toady, a earth-shaking revelation shook the wizarding world. We are not alone in the universe. In fact, Earth is not the birthplace of humanity._

_Today, several months after the disappearance of our own Harry Potter, he and a companion appeared in the Ministry of Magic to duel the newly resurrected Lord you-know-who to a standstill._

_After Potter and his partner, who we later found out was named Adali Niamara, had stalled he-who-must-not-be-named long enough for Aurors to arrive, Potter collapsed from multiple injuries, including broken ribs._

_Once Potter had been transported to St. Mungos, his partner, who had been knocked out early on in the duel, agreed to give us some information on where Mr. Potter had been for the past several months. Amazingly enough, what we got was not at all what we expected._

_Ms. Niamara proceeded to tell us some very selective information about where Mr. Potter had been since he disappeared several months ago._

_As it turns out, Mr. Potter had been taken over the summer to a secret training facility on a planet known as Coruscant. He was trained in what we would call Wandless Magic, although the people there call it 'The Force.' He apparently managed the training in a couple weeks. After that, Mr. Potter was sent off on clandestine military missions. It would appear that we have stumbled upon this Republic at a bad time, as it is embroiled in a Civil War._

_We have yet to gather much more information about the war, though we know that the battle is between former military personnel and those who support democracy. However, information about both sides must be gathered before we make a decision._

_Technology in the Republic is muggle, though it is far more advanced than the technology of the muggles of this planet. Travel over several lightyears (the speed of light is approximately 299,792,458 meters per second, so one can imagine the vast distances that it would take for light to take years to reach) can be accomplished in minutes. Weaponry and data storage have also advanced, although Ms. Niamara refused to show us any of the technology. She advised us to keep an eye on the muggle organization known as the United Nations, and said that it was likely that a great deal would be revealed there._

Harry blinked. It was remarkably well written, for a Prophet article, and was also remarkably free of bias. He vaguely wondered if Adali had threatened the reporters, and then decided that he didn't care.

"Huh." He carelessly tossed the paper on the table.

"Well, that about explains it. I don't really have too much to add, although I have to say, I want to know how you managed to get the vultures at the Prophet to report things as they were for once in their putrid lives."

Adali gave him a 'butter wouldn't melt in her mouth' look, and asked,

"Why Harry, I didn't do anything, you know that."

Harry snorted, Adali trying to look innocent was like a rancor trying to act like it wouldn't eat you first chance it got.

"Of course you didn't do anything. Even if you did, I doubt I would ever find out about it, so I'll just let it go."

By which Harry meant that there was about as much chance of getting him to let go of that one as of unwrapping a kracken's tentacles from around a submarine.

Harry and Adali left those in the kitchen to stew for a while, and decided to go look around the house.

They were talking about different ways to off Tarkin when Harry brushed against a pair of curtains. It was too late by the time he realized they hid the portrait of the screaming woman.

She burst out screaming, something about muggle filth and freaks. Harry fired a blaster shot into the canvas, about two inches from her head. The woman instantly quieted.

"If you don't want me to continue to do that, you'll shut up, and you'll stay that way until I tell you otherwise. Understood?"

The woman nodded. Harry moved on, but Adali remained behind for a second.

"Plus, If you don't, I can kill you with my mind."

The woman fainted dead away.

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Sorry about the delay, finals came up, and then I went on vacation, sans computer. That was no fun. Well, the vacation was, but not the lack of a computer. Some of you may recognize Adali's quip to Mrs. Black as coming from Firefly. River, to be specific. Of course, if you knew it came from Firefly, you probably know enough to remember who said it. Nerd.

Thought I'd end the chapter on a comedic note, because next chapter, Ye Olde Voldemort does something really stupid.

-Probably No One You Know


End file.
